can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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