I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
