Whod you bang
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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