i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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