why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
