Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
