Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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