let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
