so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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