Can Purell be used as lube?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
