I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
