Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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