do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
