if i can run in heels then i can drive
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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