He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
