Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
