I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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