the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
