No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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