Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
