I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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