I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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