Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
