you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
