those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
