I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
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Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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