he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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