I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You need a sexual gate keeper
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
