forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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