operation have a gay friend backfired
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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