We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
