And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
