I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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