are you so shy because you have an std?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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