I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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