I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
