who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
