Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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