Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize