Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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