Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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