walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
