Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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