went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
