Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
