Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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