So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
