I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
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You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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