the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
