True but thats because hes a fetus.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
