I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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