i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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