Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
