but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
