Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
