her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
