In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
