I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
